What The Bible Says Good Samaritan's Penny Pulpit by Pastor Ed Rice

Today's category: DrunksGive Me A Push? ? ? ? ? ? A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over.? ? ? ? ? ? Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.? ? ? ? ? ? So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.? ? ? ? ? ? "Hi there," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?"? ? ? ? ? ? "No, get lost. It's half past three. I was in bed," says the man and he slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened.? ? ? ? ? ? "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you," she says.? ? ? ? ? ? "Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the babysitter, and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"? ? ? ? ? ? "But the guy was drunk," says the husband.? ? ? ? ? ? "It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him." So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere, he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?" And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please." So, still being unable to see the stranger, he shouts,? ? ? ? ? ? "Where are you?"? ? ? ? ? ? "I'm over here," the stranger replies, "on your swing."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend

Today's category: DoctorsMount Sainai Hospital? ? ? ? ? ? A woman called Mount Sainai Hospital. She said "Mount Sainai Hospital? Hello, Darling. I'd like to talk with the person who gives the information about the patients. But I don't want to know if the patient is better or doing like expected, or worse. I want all the information from top to bottom, from A to Z."? ? ? ? ? ? The voice on the other line said "Would you hold the line please, that's a very unusual request." Then a very authoritative voice came on and said, "Are you the lady who is calling about one of the patients?"? ? ? ? ? ? She said: "Yes, darling! I'd like to know the information about Sarah Finkel in Room 302."? ? ? ? ? ? He said "Finkel. Finkel. Let me see. Farber, Feinberg -- Finkel. Oh yes, Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her doctor says if she continues improving as she is, he is going to send her home Tuesday at twelve o'clock."? ? ? ? ? ? The woman said "Thank God! That's wonderful! She's going home at twelve o'clock! I'm so happy to hear that. That's wonderful news."? ? ? ? ? ? The guy on the other end says: "From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be one of the close family."? ? ? ? ? ? She said "What close family? I'm Sarah Finkel!! My doctor don't tell me nothing."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend

These entries from February 2022 are still worth reading. Enjoy!

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN (ANS) -- As the United States began a second day of air and missile attacks against Afghanistan Monday October 8, round the clock prayers intensified for twenty-four Christian aid workers held in a prison of the country's ruling Taliban regime.